"Just what is HAZMAT?" you ask?  HAZMAT is the demon, I say DE-A-MON, of the 21st Century!  Can I get an "A-men"?

Everything from spent uranium to spit!  The term has been around for quite some time now.  It's "hazardous material".  Evil.  HAZMAT pre-dates the "second-hand smoke wars" of the 90's.  "HAZMAT" can be defined as "any material that has an MSDS sheet".  What is an MSDS sheet?  Documentation for HAZMAT, what else?  Another definition of HAZMAT is anything that comes in a can, bottle, or bag, and is sold at your local BOATS-R-US store.

It appears that darn near everything to do with a boat is some kind of hazardous material.  How do we figure this stuff out?  Who figures this stuff out?  I heard one definition, "if ya can't drink it, it's HAZMAT".  Hmmmm.  I guess some beer must fall into that category.  Without even reading, I can tell you that the blue stuff you put in your holding tank is HAZMAT.  I would also venture a guess that there's an MSDS sheet somewhere for meat loaf.

Now, in order to keep stuff from growing on the hull, we put special paint on the bottom that contains a "biocide".  Kills the 'biologics".  From what little I know of the history of bottom paint, there was tin, and now copper.  Early mariners would also coat their hull with copper sheeting to keep the critters off.  I think lead would've also worked.  I doubt that early mariners experimented with lead hull coverings but what a neat way to get rid of all of that lead paint we can't use in our houses anymore.  Tin came and went, and now we have copper impregnated paint.  I have even heard of people putting red pepper in their paint to stave off the biologics.  I think parmesan cheese would work even better.  Hell, I would sure hate to have that get into the ozone layer though.

Now, the fallout from working on the bottom of my boat is "HAZMAT".  I have to put a tarp down, collect it all up, collect the dust and dispose of it.  Why?  It's got copper in it.  Now, I am going to put a new coat of paint on the hull.  Why you say?  I need NEW copper.  Once it's all nice a painted out, where am I going to put the boat?  Right into the water.  Ok.  Can't wash my boat before launch.  Why?  Can't get soap in the water.  What's the first thing I'm going to do after launch?  You guessed it.  If I wash my hands onboard, where does that water go?  It is even prohibited to discharge freshwater into the river.  Now, after I am out past 3 miles, I can pump my holding tank with it's contents, AND the obligatory "blue stuff".  Guess there's nothing alive out past three miles.

How do they figure this stuff out?  Maybe they use "sea monkeys" to test with.  They never quite looked like they did in the magazine anyway.

I can almost see it in the Marine HAZMAT Test Lab:

"Ok Bill, start the 1st test."
"Coming up on 1 Minute.... MARK time 1!  Sea Monkeys can not swim well in acetone."
"MARK time 2! Sea Monkeys become invisible in sulfuric acid!  Wow!"
"MARK time 3! Sea Monkeys turn BLUE in Licron Blue Bottom Paint!  Bill, is this science or what!"
"Hey Floyd, look at that sea monkey from the plutonium test!  Big as a poodle!  Where's my lobster bib?"

I may seem plenty cynical about all this ecology stuff and I am sure the tree huggers and Green Peace weenies will boycott my page but within VHF radio range of the marina, on the water, we have the following:

Many nuclear submarines
An oil fired power plant
A styrofoam manufacturing plant
More than one shipyard
A nuclear power plant
New York

Manatee's are surfacing uttering "the horror..... the horror....."

Can I get an "Amen"?

                         
DOW Chemical deals with the excess styrofoam problem                                 Getting ready to launch
(the DEP says that everything was environmenatlly OK)                                             New Paint!

Pick the picture that depicts the higher threat to the environment
Take you time, show your work......
 
 

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