•     "Going to war without France, is like going hunting without your accordian"

(TV, Feb 2003)

•     "Too many mule petters, not enough wagon loaders"

(Bitch board at work)

        The Birth of a Cliché     June 6, 2001
      *****************************************************************

• "It Takes "U" and "I" to make 'STUPID'......"(UY June 2001)

          *****************************************************************

• "It's always darkest...... before you really get hosed!"

(Ugly Yachtsman, "cheer up little buckeroo!")
 
• "There's a thin line between "balls" and insanity"

(Ugly Yachtsman, risk assessment)
 
• "Talkin' through a hole in his neck"

(Absolutely no brain used what so ever. his/her would make this politically correct)

• "Anything worth learning......will surprise most people."

Dr. Ron making believers

• "I've got clothes older than you, and some of 'em I have on!"

Ugly Yachtsman, time measurement
 
• "The best pump is a scared sailor with a bucket"

Unknown
 
• "The early bird gets the worm but the second rat gets the cheese"

Just heard this one, evil, but has a clear message (thanks Phil)
 
• "We'll argue about it on the SURFACE!"

Ugly Yachtsman, submarining, empowerment versus emergency surfacing criteria
 
• "You can be right all the way out' the gate"

Ugly Yachtsman, tenacity versus eating regular
 
• "That BIG BRAVE SUBMARINER stuff stops at Sea Trials and the Dentist's Office"

Ugly Yachtsman
 
• "Don't confuse the issue with facts"

Ugly Yachtsman,
 
• "I don't write the music, I just sing the songs"

Ugly Yachtsman, 1993, please don't shoot the messenger
 
• "A turtle only makes progress when it's neck is out"

Unknown
 
• "If you are looking for sympathy, it's between shit and syphilis in the dictionary"

Unknown
 
• "Come along side shipmate!"

Be VERY afraid when someone calls you "shipmate"
 
• "Dumb as a box of rocks"

Unknown
 
• "Indecision is the key to flexibility"

Unknown
 
• "The Stupid Shall Be Punished"

Circa 1979, possibly a biblical reference
 
• "Can't see the forest for the stumps"

Circa 1979, may be ecologically based
 
• "The data was validated by the number of people that believed it"

Circa 1995, Crazy Larry
 
• "Holy shit Fudd!  Do something even if it's wrong!"

Submarine Tommy and the Ugly Yachtsman playing "Name that sound, and why is the boat getting heavy" while attempting to get to periscope depth.  (the Ugly Yachtsman learns a lesson about the Hovering System)
 
• "The plains are littered with pioneers with arrows up their asses"

Ugly Yachtsman Circa 1975, used when contemplating newly released operating systems and new underwater weapons systems
 
• "Optimists are people that just don't have all the facts"

Ugly Yachtsman Circa 1975 that's just the way it goes
 
• "It's easier to beg forgiveness than to get permission"

Admiral Grace M. Hopper
 
• "Shhhhh! I can hear my hair grow!"

First night in boot camp, lights out, 1971
 
• "Talk is cheap but it takes good money to buy whiskey"

A shipmate quotes his mother
 
• "Big enough to stand flat-footed and shit in a dump truck"

Paints a real picture, 1971
 
• "Your momma used to soak your socks in creosote to keep the ants from eatin' your candy ass!"

Kentucky insult, pre-dates any of the known "Yo' momma" competitive taunts,1971
 
• "If your brains were gasoline it couldn't drive a piss ant's go-cart half way around a Cheerio"

Kentucky insult, lengthy but original, 1971
 
• "Gag a maggot"

Unknown, descriptive, dietary origins
 
• "Flexible as Gumby"

Ugly Yachtsman, 1994, Corporate term
 
• "We're getting too granular"

Too many people, 1996, Corporate term
 
• "You can tell she's a lady by the way she says MOTHER!@#$%^!"

1974, At Elfie's across from the shipyard
 
• "If the horse won't run fast enough, you put on more jockeys"

1988, Mad Jack BACK